This is How I Like Things
by btamamura
Summary: Part of AU series. A very unfortunate incident during a family dinner results in Ashlyn voicing how she truly feels about having Tracey and Cilan as her adopted fathers. Contains Starchshipping (Tracey x Cilan), homophobia expressed by strangers and threatened child abduction. Can be triggering, please heed warnings. Rated for the above.


**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Pokemon, or the characters. They are the property of Nintendo, Tajiri Satoshi, Game Freak, etc._

**Notes: **_**Another AU fic. This was originally going to be a lovely family night out a year after Tracey and Cilan adopted Ashlyn. But, of course, my writing somehow tends to take an angsty turn, and it did. This fic contains homophobia (none of the thoughts expressed are my own, and this is still rather **__downplayed__** considering how cruel it can really be), as well as shounen-ai (two males in a romantic relationship). As with the majority of my AUs, this is Starchshipping (Tracey x Cilan); please note the above shounen-ai warning. **_

_**If you don't like the idea of two males being in a relationship, or homophobia is triggering to you, then please leave now. Still here? Please enjoy.**_

"So, who's excited about our dinner tonight?" Tracey asked as he emerged from the bathroom; he was dressed in casual clothing, though they were still a far cry from his favourite articles, those being a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Instead, he was wearing a button-up, long sleeved shirt, a pair of denim jeans and an orange fleece-jacket. The weather had cooled, so it was not only suitable for their dinner destination, but also for the weather.

"Me! Me! I am, Papa Tracey!" Ashlyn exclaimed happily, jumping up and down to make sure her joyous feelings were conveyed clearly.

Cilan was also dressed in comfortable, casual attire. Well, it was close to his usual preference; he'd just forgone a tie and vest, instead opting to wear a lime-green jacket, a shade lighter than his emerald hair and eyes. He was wearing a shirt similar to his husband's, but he'd opted for dress-pants instead of jeans (they were much more comfortable).

Ashlyn had dressed herself, though she was still missing two pairs of important items of clothing. She wore a pink jumper over a pale blue, long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of purple trackpants. The jumper had a blue rabbit eating a carrot emblazoned on the front. Her blond hair was tied into pigtails, just as she usually preferred, and they were held up with ribbons that were coloured pink, green and orange tied over two elastic bands.

"Well, before we leave, I think we need to fix a little problem," Cilan chuckled as he looked to the child's feet. "Are we missing anything, Ashlyn?"

The girl let out a giggle mixed with an _oops!_ as she realised her problem; she was missing a pair of socks and her pink and white sneakers. "I forgot my socks and shoes again."

The men chuckled. "That's alright, Ashlyn. We all forget something; it's all part of being human," Tracey replied. "Do you need help finding them again?"

She nodded. "Papa Cilan can look in my room for my shoes, and you can look in my room for some socks, Papa Tracey. I always lose them in there." By that, she meant she'd often kick her shoes under the bed so far that she can't go under to get them (there's a monster under there, surely!), and as for her socks, she's still too small to reach the drawer they're kept in. "Can you please? I want to tell my dolly goodbye before we go because she can't come with us."

"Why not? They don't say _No Dolly_ as a rule," Cilan asked with his hands on his hips; playful curiosity in his eyes. He had a feeling he knew what his daughter was going to say next.

"Because I am getting too big to take a doll with me everywhere."

"Well then, what if one of us brings Dolly along for you? Then she can still come with us, and it won't be you who does it."

"But, you're bigger than me. It's silly."

Tracey knelt down and looked into his daughter's blue eyes. "Nothing is silly about that unless you want it to be. If anybody tells you otherwise, just ignore them. It's what's best for you that matters, and Dolly has been with you all your life. She's not just a doll, you told us that yourself when we brought you home. She's your best friend, the one who helped you feel less lonely when you were left behind."

"So, it is okay if I bring her?"

"Of course it is!"

"Okay! Then, I'll look for her and get her ready while you look for my socks and shoes?"

"Of course. Go on ahead, we'll be up in a minute."

She nodded and hurried up to her room; though she made sure not to actually run, knowing it was dangerous.

Cilan helped his husband stand as they watched their daughter hurriedly walk through the house. "Do you think someone said something to her about that?"

"I'm not sure. The only child she really plays with is Angelique, but she still has her favourite toy with her too, so it can't be her."

"Oh. Maybe someone said something back at the orphanage. It wouldn't have been Miss Mary, surely!"

"I doubt it was her. She'd know the importance that Dolly has to Ashlyn. I think there might've been a child who teased her or another child about her same age."

"We'll ask her after dinner. For now, let's help her finish getting ready."

"Good idea."

Ashlyn sat on her bed, hugging her doll and watching her fathers get her shoes and socks from where she couldn't (or refused to because of the possible monster waiting under the bed to eat her). The doll appeared to be a simple ragdoll with brown hair made of wool, green buttons sewn on for eyes and a large, red stitched smile. She wore a plain blue dress with a white apron, and black shoes had been painted onto her feet. Ashlyn had taken very good care of her doll, as there were no signs of _too much love_ such as tears or stains.

Tracey found a pair of white socks with frills on the ankles. "Here we are. I believe these are your favourite to wear out of the house?" He held them up for the child to see.

She nodded and smiled widely. Her cousin Angelique had socks like them, and when Ashlyn saw them, she developed a fondness for the design almost immediately. She set Dolly aside as she accepted the socks and started to slide them onto her feet correctly.

Only the bottom half of Cilan's torso could be seen poking out from under the bed. "I found one! Now, where's the other one..."

"Be careful of the monster, Papa Cilan!" Ashlyn warned as she took hold of Dolly again.

Neither of them berated her for believing in such tales; she was still only four-and-a-half years old, and was convinced there was something under there waiting to gobble her up. Instead, Cilan responded, "Don't worry about that, Ashlyn. If there is a monster under here, he'll be a vegetarian."

"A vegetable?"

"No no. I mean he'll only eat vegetables, not children or daddies."

"Phew! But, how do you know?"

"All bed-monsters are vegetarians these days. Oh, but I don't want you bringing your vegetables up here and trying to feed them to him if he should appear. He is able to find his own and is happy when good girls and boys eat their vegetables too."

"Papa Cilan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. It's nice to hear that if there is one, it won't eat me."

"Need a hand getting out from under there?" Tracey asked as he saw his husband start to squirm backwards; a sign he'd found the other shoe during the conversation.

"No no, I'll manage, thank you." He continued wriggling backwards until he was sure he was clear to get up. Unfortunately, he was still a slight under the bed, so when he tried to rise, he bumped his head. "Ouch!"

"Are you alright?"

He hissed in pain before making his way out further. He reached his hand up to test before getting up, and upon feeling nothing but air, he deemed it safe to get to his feet. "I'll be okay. It wasn't that hard. It hurts a little, but thank goodness I didn't consider bolting straight up. That would've hurt a lot."

"Let me see?"

Ashlyn was clinging to Dolly. "Are you okay, Papa Cilan?"

Tracey was checking for any visible injuries on top of his husband's head, gently touching his fingers to where Cilan had pointed. "Is it tender?"

"No, it doesn't hurt now."

Tracey gave him a gentle kiss on the spot before allowing him to stand straight-up again. "I think you should let Ashlyn kiss you better too."

Cilan looked over and saw the child was close to tears. He knelt in front of her. "I'm okay, Ashlyn. I only hit my head a little. It doesn't hurt anymore, but to make sure it doesn't start hurting later, would you like to kiss it better?"

She nodded, got onto her knees for extra height, scrambled over and kissed him where he'd put his finger. "Owie-Owie, you can't stay! Owie-Owie, go away!" She called before moving backwards. She'd learned that from her other parental figure; Mary, the caretaker of the orphanage she'd been raised in for three years. "Can I please have some help?" Though she was adept at dressing herself, she still had the issue of telling which shoe went on which foot.

Cilan pointed to the shoes as he gave directions and watched as she slipped them on and did up the velcro straps (much easier than tying laces). "Now, you're all ready to go! Is Dolly ready too?"

"Yep!" She looked to her doll. "Aren't you, Dolly?" She made the doll nod before looking back to her fathers. "Yep! She's ready!"

"I'll go warm up the car while you two...I mean three; sorry, Dolly...lock-up the house and turn off the lights," Tracey volunteered before the trio...oops, I mean quartet left the bedroom and made their way through the house.

One ten-minute drive filled with excited chatter from one very happy little girl, some songs from everyone in the family and difficulty finding an ideal parking space upon arrival later...

Ashlyn looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. She made sure to stay close to her parents as they walked through the building until they found their table. She could hear some unfamiliar words being said in not-so-whispered tones. "Papa Tracey? Papa Cilan?" She noticed they both appeared unbothered by the words being said.

_No sign of a woman at all! They don't look like brothers!_

_They're close to the same age too!_

_How dare they even think about eating in this establishment? They'll poison our children's minds!_

_Oh my gosh, they even have a kid involved! Somebody better do something before she's corrupted!_

_Ugh, that filthy pair of freaks better not even think about sitting here!_

Of course, just because her fathers didn't seem bothered, didn't mean Ashlyn wasn't; she definitely was. She didn't like the way they were speaking about her fathers at all!

More murmurs, more people staring, glaring their way. It made Ashlyn uncomfortable. Why were they looking like that?

"Aren't you hungry, Ashlyn?" Tracey asked as he saw the child hadn't eaten anything on her plate.

"There are a lot of people looking at us with mean looks. I don't like it."

The men exchanged looks and nodded before turning to their daughter, who was becoming visibly bothered by their surroundings. "Ashlyn, what do you notice about those people looking at us?"

"They have a mummy and a daddy and a child or children."

"They think that two daddies isn't normal. Actually, they're thinking a lot worse than that, but I'd rather not upset you further by telling you just what it is they're thinking."

"Why do they think it's not normal? Why are they thinking bad words and mean thoughts?"

Cilan sighed gently. Ashlyn really was a child who could clue into just about anything. He wasn't going to say _we'll discuss this when you're older_.

"Is it because I'm adopted? Is it because of me...?"

"No, Ashlyn, no! It most definitely is not because of you! Those people are thinking bad things about Tracey and I, but not you!" He'd tried to keep his composure, but he became visibly upset when he heard Ashlyn's questions.

Tracey also appeared upset, though it was a little-less noticeable compared to his husband's expression. "Even though two men and two women can get married now, there are still a lot of people who don't like it. They consider it wrong and a sin."

"A sin? Is that a bad thing?" Ashlyn asked.

"Sins are very bad things. Those people think that we're doing something very bad by being together the way we are." _I bet they're also thinking they need to do something to save Ashlyn from us and our 'corruption' over her young and impressionable mind..._

No sooner had he finished that thought, a middle-aged woman stormed over to the table. "Give me that child. She shouldn't be with filth such as you. I'm going to contact social services and have them take her from you."

"Madam, how can you say such things? We both love our daughter very much."

"I bet you're both nothing but filthy perverts..."

Cilan sighed. It was the same old song and dance anytime someone tried to express their discrimination against their relationship. It was always _you're filthy perverts, you're freaks, you're a crime against nature, people like you don't belong here_. He'd learned to ignore such comments not long after he and Tracey had actually become a couple; their families approved and they loved each other, so who cared what anyone else had to say? Of course, there were times the words still hurt.

"You probably do disgusting things to this child too!"

Now, that was new, and highly uncalled for. He could feel his anger starting to rise at that wrongful accusation.

Before either of the men could say anything to straighten her out before they left, Ashlyn jumped off her seat and stormed over to the woman. "PAPA TRACEY AND PAPA CILAN ARE MY DADDIES, AND I LOVE THEM! THEY LOVE ME TOO! THEY WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO EVEN CONSIDERED ADOPTING ME! FOR THREE YEARS, I WAITED FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE ME HOME, BUT THEY NEVER DID! BUT PAPA CILAN AND PAPA TRACEY DID! THEY'RE GOOD DADDIES! THEY LOOK AFTER ME WHEN I'M SICK, THEY TUCK ME IN AND READ ME STORIES AT NIGHT, THEY MAKE SURE I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT AND DRINK AND WEAR, THEY MAKE SURE I AM WARM IN WINTER AND COOL IN SUMMER! THEY ARE THE BEST DADDIES I COULD EVER ASK FOR, AND THEY DO NOT DESERVE YOUR MEAN WORDS AND THOUGHTS!"

Cheers erupted around the restaurant from those who were supportive of the idea of two men or two women being married and finding a way to have a child join their family. Some of them were standing; they'd made a move to prepare to intervene before things got out of hand, but the child said more than they ever could.

"But, little dear, wouldn't you prefer to be in a normal family with a mummy and a daddy? They'd take good care of you," the woman tried to reason.

Ashlyn managed to lower her voice as she responded. "For three years, people who said they would like to be my mummy and daddy changed their mind every single time. Papa Cilan and Papa Tracey were the only ones who saw me and chose to take me home right away. If they didn't, I would still be at the orphanage. I wouldn't be able to have a nice dinner in a nice place, I wouldn't be able to have my own room, I wouldn't have a cousin, or grandmas or uncles or an aunty. I wouldn't be here talking to you."

"Do you know that for certain? What if instead of these sick freaks, a new mummy and daddy would have taken you home, but they never could because you were taken away by these sickos?" Aside from her verbal insults, her tone was filled with curiosity more than anything.

"Do not say mean things about the only two people who cared enough to take me home on the same day we met. Do not say mean things about the only two people who gave me a home. Do not say mean things about the only two people who didn't say _actually, we don't want her anymore_. Yes. They said that. For three years. A lot of mummies and daddies chose not to take me home." Tears were coming to her eyes. "I love Papa Cilan. I love Papa Tracey. They love me."

She frowned, an impatient look on her face. She reached out to take her arm and drag her away; there was no way it was a good idea for a child to be raised by two of the same sex.

"Don't. You. Touch. Her." Cilan was rising to his feet, Tracey already standing. "You have no right to take away our child. You have no authority, and your reasoning will not stand in court."

"I ask that you please step away from our child before we really become angry," Tracey added. "Not that we would _do_ anything to _you_, we're not like that. But, our words will be a lot worse than our child's adamant statement."

The woman huffed and crossed her arms; a smug smile crossing her face. "So, if I was to reach out and take her, you wouldn't do anything."

"No, but we would," a voice from behind her replied for them.

The woman turned. Her eyes widened as she saw the manager of the restaurant standing there.

"If you were to even attempt to abduct this child from her loving fathers, then we'd have to call the police. You're speaking of attempting abduction, and frankly, we'd rather not serve child abductors in this restaurant. Madam, I'd like to ask you to leave. If you refuse, we shall have to bring this to the attention of the authorities."

"Excuse me, Sir, but I came here to have a nice dinner with my family, and it was ruined by these two perverts!" She pointed rudely at Cilan and Tracey.

"_Excuse me, Madam,_ but I believe they also came here for a nice family dinner, only to have it ruined by someone threatening to take away their child. Now, I will ask once more. Please vacate yourself from the premises. Your family may stay, unless they entertain the same thoughts of tearing this family apart because of prejudice. If that is the case, then they are to leave as well."

The woman's husband was more resigned about it. "Come on, dear. We'd better leave now."

Of course, the woman was more adamant about staying there. "Has this whole restaurant gone insane? I know I'm not the only one who thinks that these freaks are corrupting this innocent child's mind and she must be taken to keep her safe from them!"

A security guard joined the group and placed his hand on the woman's shoulders. "Madam, I shall escort you outside."

"I am only a phonecall away from the police. I will call them if you continue to resist," the manager added.

She sighed. "Fine. This place is a dive anyway. Come on, honey. Come on, kids. We're leaving this dump."

The manager nodded and muttered _good riddance _as he watched the woman lead her unhappy family out of the building. He was smiling at first, but upon hearing the child behind him suddenly burst into tears, he felt bad he hadn't intervened sooner.

Everyone watched as the two fathers hurried to comfort their distraught daughter. The two men that many, including the woman who'd just left, had considered to be perverts, sick freaks, crimes against nature and all-around sinners, were hugging their daughter and trying to console her as they tried to hold back their own emotions.

"Please keep tonight's experience as a reminder. Nobody has the right to attempt to take another person's child, unless they're authorised. Even then, it has to be because it's for the good of the child in question, not just because of personal beliefs."

The girl stopped crying long enough to add "I like having two daddies, I like having Papa Tracey and Papa Cilan as my daddies...because I know...I know that..." She started sobbing as she finished, "I know that they love me, and I love them too..."

That was enough to finally get the tears flowing from both fathers' eyes as well. "Of course we love you, Ashlyn. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing at all," Tracey whispered as he kissed his daughter atop her head.

The meal had been charged nothing as an apology for their evening being ruined by a very rude customer who did not know her place. But, that was small consolation following the events of the evening. They didn't even eat their meals, so they'd been offered to take them home in carry-home containers. They accepted (the chef had put in all that effort, after all; can't let it go to waste) and left not long after they'd all calmed enough.

It was a sombre drive home. Tracey decided to pull the car over three blocks away from home and slumped against the steering wheel. "Ashlyn, I'm sorry you had to hear such things being said tonight. I wish you could grow up in a world where people are more understanding and accepting. But, tonight is proof that there's always going to be someone filled with hate and prejudice. They will go to extremes if they're unhappy about everything going on around them. We've learned to try to ignore those words; of course, they do still hurt. I'm only relieved you didn't hear the worst of it like we did."

Cilan was rubbing Tracey's back.

"Don't say sorry, Papa Tracey. It is not your fault. Those people are mean. They are real monsters; not like what I would find under my bed. What made me most sad was that people were saying and thinking things like that about my daddies; people I love a lot. That woman was wrong. Having you as my daddies is the best thing for me." Ashlyn had unfastened her seatbelt and slipped out of her booster seat so she could stand near the front seats. "Why do people have to be so mean...?"

"We don't know. I wish we did so we could stop it. But..." Cilan sighed as he looked to his daughter, still rubbing his husband's back soothingly. "Ashlyn? We're both very proud of you for standing up for what you believe in tonight. You told her exactly how you felt."

Tracey nodded as he finally sat up. "It was impressive, Ashy." He couldn't call her _Ash_ because, well...Ash is his brother's name, after all. "You didn't have to tell her about how long you waited for a family though."

"Yes, I did. I needed to tell her. I needed to tell her that I waited for three years, people saying they'd take me home and then decide they won't and me watching other kids leave for happy homes and thinking nobody wanted me. But, you wanted me. You're my daddies; my Papa Tracey and Papa Cilan, and she needed to know that you were the only ones except Mama Mary who cared about me. She needed to know that this is how I like things; I like having a home, a family, two daddies who love me very much. And I love my two daddies just as much as they love me." She was smiling for the first time since the disaster at dinner. "She _needed_ to know _that_."


End file.
